it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
