I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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