We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize