Porn is love you can see.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
