LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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