I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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