I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
