Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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