my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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