is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
