Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
