HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
