plz talk dirty to me
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
