okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize