i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
