but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I bet he comes in French.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
