Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
