His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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