it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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