sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
