I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i've created a new STD.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
