Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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