Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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