I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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