He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
