This girl is more easily done than said...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
