i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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