Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I have tasted many bathrooms
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
