you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
