I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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