I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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