This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
