i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize