Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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