So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
COCAINE IS GR8
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
