What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
