I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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