just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
