who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
