You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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