Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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