So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
