I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
