haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
