I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
