Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The best revenge is premature balding
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
