We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
