3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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