i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Text me some of your sweat
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
