Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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